Worry Wart…oh dear

All my life, well as far back as I can remember, I’ve always worried about something. Actually my mom and many others who’ve took notice to it have always said I was a worry wart, thought I’ve always took that as a sort of “name calling” and kind of stung my feelers in a round about way which now looking back my aspieness had a play in that but I didn’t know that then.

I pretty much worry about everything, if you can think of it well I worry about that. I’m pretty certain that my worrying has a huge part in my panic attacks and at times it can be pretty bad so much so that it’s hard to breathe, I begin to sweat and sometimes I will sweat until the situation I’m in and worrying about is over and I’m out of the situation, I’ll have the nervous shakes and get that fight or flight going on in my mind and body.

I do go to therapy every week, she wants me to do breathing exercises and some other things but when your in a big panic and completely worried about something at that moment I’m not going to remember crap other than get out of the situation! I must say just before my attack gets so bad I do try some breathing but the more the situation gets bigger or out of hand the worse I get. Eventually I hope that some techniques will help but it’s going to take many many times using them before it clicks with me.

You know many people see their diagnosis as being labelled and they hate it but for me being diagnosed at 42 (2014) I actually welcome it though I’m still learning even though my boys were diagnosed with Asperger’s and others and I’ve learned about them but it’s different when it’s yourself. I wish I had been diagnosed as a child I would have begun some therapy then but back when I was a child they just called it being slow and learning disabilities, no therapy, just some services in school and that was it even though Asperger’s was already in the books but no one knew about it because it wasn’t well known as it is now but it was widely known that it was just boys but it is now known to be girl’s as well.

For now I’m ok with my diagnoses but wish it wasn’t so difficult some times.

 

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