Don’t over crowd me, don’t get too close, don’t close me in or back me in a corner, don’t trap me into a long conversation or press me too hard about anything or try to get me to go somewhere I don’t want to go, don’t answer for me unless I ask you to do so, don’t waste my time, don’t bug my last nerve, don’t chew with your mouth open and don’t smack your lips, don’t be a dick/witch to me, don’t assume I’m done talking because I pause a moment, don’t think I’m stupid because I am unable to do something you are able to do, don’t think I want your pitty when I open up to you and tell you my dx’s, don’t lie to me, don’t be a shit/fake friend, don’t talk politics or religion and don’t judge me.
I know I’ve been MIA for a good while, just haven’t had the words at the tip of my fingers lately though I’ve wanted and tried many times to gather my thoughts but they are just running so wildly like a kid without their ADHD medication though I wonder if maybe that could be what I need to keep my thoughts from running so out of control so that maybe I could freely think on one thing at a time.
In the time that I have been gone I’ve come to realize that I’m a bit complicated, can’t believe I’m saying this but I do believe my dx of Bipolar is correct though yes I am an aspie and I’ve come to the realization that the two can co-exist and I’m fine with that. Thing is though is other people, I don’t think they are ok with anyone who are different from the “norm”, who have “issues” and real problems. It’s unfortunate for them, sure I am different and yes I am odd and weird as well as have some complicated issues to deal with on a daily basis but doesn’t mean I don’t have real feelings or that I don’t feel the same as anyone else. I wish I could walk away from some of the things that hurt or bother me but it’s never a simple thing and never will be.
So, I’m still here and I’ll post again soon.
Being an Aspie we have a hard time at a lot of things and “people-ing” is a big one! Conversations are tough but if you find that one person who you share similar interests it’s not so hard to communicate and then a friendship is formed. Having a friend or friends is great, going places, meeting for lunch, shopping, laughing, etc…there are ones that say they are a friend but it’s only a one-sided kind of thing, where you are always there for them but they are never there for you, they only talk about them and never let you talk, you cheer them up but when you need cheering up they aren’t around, etc…those are the horrible ones, ones you hope you never come across.
Unfortunately I got caught up with a friend, well supposed friend, because I’ve known her since we were in middle school and she was never as bad at friendship as she is these days and I’m not sure why she is this way or what went wrong with her. I won’t get too much into it because it upsets me but I just don’t know how to end it because I’ve known her for 30 years, it’s just too difficult.
Anyways, I’ll never understand why people are the way they are. For instance, why do others have to be so mean and rude, hurt others, stomp on others feelings, use ones friendship, belittle someone, etc…it just don’t make sense to me how people can be so cruel, hateful knowing they are hurting someone. Don’t people understand kids watch them, mimic them and the cycle keeps turning. But yet people complain about all that, complain that nothing is changing, that others claim race while others blame religions and beliefs.
Being an Aspie this just confuses me too much. Maybe I put more heart into it or maybe I over think things or maybe, just maybe people need to start listening and watching how they act and what they say, not to hurt someone or judge a person.
I may not have made any sense to anyone, I may not have reached others or rather may not have sent a good enough message about how others treat other people but this was on my mind and had to get it out. But thanks for reading anyways.