Passions, likes, loves and addictions!

We all have things that we enjoy, like doing, items that are our favorites, movies we love, food we like and some have addictions to their passions but for us aspies its much stronger and not easily to move past or go to another activity. It’s almost like being in school really, we study our passions, likes and loves so much so that we know the names of every person who created it or know just how it was made down to the last small detail and know how to modify it better or know the entire collection and can name them from memory with just one glance.

Since my boys were dx’d (diagnose, diagnosed, diagnosis) at 4 1/2 and 3 I’ve learned all there is about Star Wars, something I thought I knew about more than my oldest since it came out when I was a little girl but he has “studied” it closely since he was 2 as well as Lego’s, which I think my feet and knees know more about pain than playing or as my oldest would say “it’s not playing it’s constructing”. Then there is his, my oldest, most favorite activity drawing and he has been doing that since he could hold a crayon! At first it was just stick people, odd looking stick people and when he started school you would see all these scribbles and odd looking stick people on his papers, well not just in one little spot or location but ALL over along the edges of the papers though I have to say he did learn too and oddly enough his teachers didn’t mind all that much.

Now my youngest, he was never really “hooked” on anything like his brother was but when he learned to read he learned to really enjoy his books. He really loves science and history, he really retains what he has learned in class and brings it home which he will continue to talk about for weeks if not months about it. When he was dx’d at 3 he just started talking but you couldn’t understand a word he was saying and now he talks nonstop, I love hearing him talk about his passions because there was a time I didn’t understand him and now its just wonderful. He is dx’d with Autism and Asperger’s because he showed sign’s for the “classic Autism” per the DSMIV (at the time, before DSMV came out) but didn’t fit in all the “boxes” for a full Autism dx.

As far as myself goes, yea I know shocker but if you read my profile and other posts you’d know I am an aspie too. Course I wasn’t dx’d until I was 42, only a year ago, but I’ve always known I was different from the rest of my peers, that something was different with me but I couldn’t understand why I was, I just knew I was. My passions, likes, loves and addictions are different, though I think that maybe all us aspies passions, likes, loves and addictions are different. As I’ve said to my kids and others before, “if we were the same we would be boring, but we are different and that makes us interesting”, whether others or well NT’s see it that way or maybe they think we are boring that’s their loss.

I love researching, usually anything really but more for my family history and other history throughout time. My husband says I have an addiction to stationary, ok so maybe I do, I love good pens and paper or notebooks and I’m constantly putting things in ABC order! I love the smell of old homes, for some reason it feels like I had been there once before long ago but I wasn’t.

I kinda feel as though maybe I got off topic in a few spots here and there but that’s just how my mind works, hard to concentrate on the same thing for me but I don’t know maybe it will help in some form for another mom who is seeking comfort in knowing shes not alone on her journey or help a teen think more that “so what” if they are different, different is good and boring is bad. On to more female aspie awareness.

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When I was a little girl…

I was always odd, weird, silent, never bothered a soul, played just fine alone, knew how to read before I could write and yet numbers messed with my head. I didn’t like to be teased, easily got my feelings hurt, easily angered, quick tempered, certain foods were nasty, didn’t and still don’t like gooey, sticky stuff on my hands and the worst was I couldn’t take a joke, well these days some times I still can’t or it’s just hard for me to “get it” right away. Some say I’m emotional, others have said I’m too serious.

Had Barbies, dolls, stuffed animals, coloring books (which I do still love) but I also had cars, trucks, guns (you know those cowboy guns that you put these little red paper rolls in the gun, cap guns…maybe you’re a bit young for those or you might be my age and remember), yea I had a combo of things I liked growing up.

When it came time for school I pretty much watched how the other girls did things, the way they talked, moved, did their hair, be with friends, what they laughed at and I mimicked them because I didn’t know how to be.

Here’s a great memory from middle school. So there was a boy I kinda liked, I had no idea how to do or act. He had funky, spike hair which I thought was cool (OK so this was the 80’s) and I thought I would do my hair like his…thing is I had medium length hair he didn’t. Every morning I would put enough mousse, gel and hair spray to catch birds and they would get stuck! Then I would scrunch all my hair up making some stick up…looking back I know I looked awful but back then I thought it was awesome and I don’t recall anyone ever laughing, well it’s good that I don’t know. But it didn’t work anyways…I know better now.

Another lovely memory, one not many know outside my family. This was mid-80’s, my mom worked with Coca-cola (she retired in 06 after 30+ years) and they always had coke night at six-flags over GA which was pretty cool, we got in for free, had a huge feast and enjoy the whole park all day. Well, I didn’t care to ride the big scary coasters, didn’t like the crowds, didn’t like the games, didn’t like the costumes…actually didn’t like to do a whole lot and many scared me but the one thing that they did do that absolutely terrified me the most and Everyone else seemed to really enjoy…the fireworks! Near closing time they always did fireworks. I don’t know if anyone had seen me, I really didn’t care though, all I wanted was it to stop. This is me as soon as they started: imagine if you will a 10-12 year old girl crouching, covering her ears, screaming and running around as if she were in a combat zone in the middle of a war! I don’t do that now but I do stay a far, far, far far, far distance.

Early on in my childhood I also gained a healthy respect for storms. When I knew they were headed my way I would build a fort and hide, at night I hid under my covers no matter how hot in the summer too! These days I don’t build forts or hide under my covers but my anxiety takes the place of them.

A lot of these I’ve seen in my boys like covering their ears, storms are issues, etc…but not once did it ever dawn on me that I was the same until I was diagnosed Asperger’s, anxieties, OCD and Bipolar (which I believe that one is not right).

Thats all I got to say about that…for now that is.